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3 Ways for Up-dating Your "Chooser"

Updated: Apr 20, 2020

Criteria for a Healthy Relationship. Heal-Thy Relating-ships

There are three major categories to be identified for knowing and building towards a healthy, loving, supportive, #successful #relationship. As individuals, we each have our preferences and these may be different from another person's. Differences are not dangerous. In fact, they can be stimulating and educational; however, if these preferences cannot co-exist or are in conflict, these need to be negotiated in a particular relationship for it to move forward safely.

Differences aren't always dangerous

In the following sections, you will have a space to write in your own answer or fill it in with your Mind's Eye to determine if your values, principles, qualities or character traits match with your partner's or potential #partner. If they are a 'match', then you have the foundation of a potentially strong relationship. If they are in conflict (they do NOT have to be identical - but they can NOT be in direct conflict) then it might be time to re-evaluate the partnership.

1. What are the Qualities, Values, Principles, and Character Traits of the person you want to be with? Examples: honesty, integrity, sense of humor...

How will you know by their Actions, Conversations, and Behaviors that these criteria are being met - what's the Evidence? Evidence Examples: Words and actions match. They tell the truth, even when it's awkward or difficult...

2. What #activities do you want to share with your partner? Often we have our own passions and activities we are happy to do on our own - and for a successful partnership - there need to be several areas that can be shared. Examples: music, adventure, volunteering...

Describe what the activities will be looks like. Examples: Enjoys music and likes to go to live concerts. Explores new places...

3. What are the traits or RED flags that you see? These are the #actions, #behaviors, and spoken #attitudes and #beliefs that would make this candidate a definite NO or dangerous.

Examples: #alcoholic, #abusive ...

What is the evidence of these RED flags?

Examples: Cannon has a meal or activity without drinking. Uses alcohol as a crutch. Says mean or hurtful things, pushes or hits, etc...


People will show you who they are-believe them!

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